Family Closeness: Are We Having Fun Yet?

Ideally, your relationships with your family members provide you with strength and support as you face the outside world.

Like any relationship, this takes work and self-exploration. Ongoing dedication to developing your coping skills, internal resources and personal insight will pay off throughout your family's lifetime. The measure of family adaptability, family maintenance, family strengths, family traditions and identity, family unity and bonding reflects the valuable hallmarks of a successful family.

This test will allow you to take a look at how well your family scores with these hallmarks and will give you suggestions for becoming more successful in all of these areas.

Read through each question carefully and choose the answer that most closely resembles your family. Keep in mind this is an educational tool and not a diagnostic analysis.


1.Do you feel your family has a strong sense of history that provides roots and a sense of belonging?
2.Do you and your family have the ability to laugh with one another?
3.Do you and your family members openly and honestly voice concerns and discontent with one another when feeling hurt or angry?
4.Do you feel you and your family members are always able to recover from crises and return to a level of typical functioning?
5.Do you feel that as a family you share and value philosophies with regard to how you live your lives?
6.Do you and your family members enjoy telling favorite family stories?
7.Do your family members view mistakes or problems as an opportunity to learn?
8.Do you and your family members engage in active problem solving when conflict arises, which results in making necessary adjustments or compromises?
9.Has your family been able to successfully 'weather the storm' of inevitable family conflicts, changes and crises?
10.Do you feel that your family makes a concerted effort to spend quality time together throughout the week and on weekends?
11.Does your family make it a priority to remember and celebrate family birthdays, anniversaries and other special events?
12.Does your family reinforce an optimistic and positive view of the world?
13.Are you willing to always forgive your family members for mistakes and transgressions?
14.Have you as a family unit been able to respond to the needs of those family members who may be facing hardships?
15.Do you feel that your family members support each other no mattter how difficult circumstances may become?
16.Do you feel that you and your family share common values, goals and interests?
17.Are you as a family able to comfortably explore different values and opinions?
18.Do you and your family members make a concerted effort to hold a family council or family meeting on a regular basis?
19.Are you in favor of loaning money or other resources to family members who may need your help?
20.Do you hope your family members will always stay close?
21.Do you believe that your family practices daily rituals that provide a sense of unity, understanding and love?
22.Do you feel that your family has a strong spiritual base from which values and life codes have been established?
23.Do you and your family members take preventive measures to maintain family unity such as prioritizing time together and keeping lines of communication open?
24.Are you and your family members able to cope with unexpected life changes in your family unit, such as death?
25.Do you consider any of your family members to be your best companion?
26.Does your family emphasize the importance of learning more about family history in order to maintain connectedness with preceding generations?
27.Do you feel that your family members are deeply committed to the happiness of one another?
28.Do you exercise respect, patience and trust with your family members, even when in disagreement?
29.Do you feel you are able to adequately balance the demands of your friends and community with the needs of your family?
30.Do you share your deepest secrets with any of your family members?