Family Relationships: Band Aid or CPR?

Can’t we just get along? If this is a common statement in your home, it may be time for a check-up.

Parenting experts have identified several key components that exist in all healthy families. Each family unit has a unique way of doing things and each family’s approach can be equally effective in nurturing a healthy and happy family. It’s important to see where you are achieving success and if there may be room for improvement.

This test will assist you in identifying those areas of your family’s health where a bandaid could be all you need to heal or if more serious attention is necessary.

Carefully read each question and choose the one answer per question that best applies to you.


1.Does your family laugh with one another?
2.Do your family members agree on core moral values?
3.Are parent/child roles clearly defined in your family?
4.Are family members' feelings considered when making big decisions?
5.Do you hide your true feelings when dealing with certain members of your family?
6.Do family members check in with one another during the day or week?
7.Do you find yourself on the same page with family members when it comes to serious issues?
8.Is there guidance in your family to help you make informed decisions on important matters?
9.Does each family member have an equal say when it comes to making important family decisions?
10.Can your family members have differences of opinion and not feel threatened?
11.Are family members affectionate with one another using touch and/or words to convey sentiments?
12.Do your family members agree with your philosophy regarding how you want to live your life?
13.Does your family convey a sense of connectedness and community with each other?
14.Do you find that family members bring up past incidents in a positive way during problem solving sessions?
15.Can individuals in your family disagree with the consensus without serious consequences?
16.Do you enjoy spending time together on trips?
17.Do you pass down cultural/ethnic principles from generation to generation in your family?
18.Are your responsibilities in your family clearly defined?
19.Does conflict resolve quickly in your family?
20.Are family members comfortable expressing opinions and thoughts?
21.Do family members demonstrate kindness and respect toward one another?
22.Are arguments avoided with your family due to having similiar beliefs regarding education, religion, politics, and childrearing?
23.Do you reach out beyond the family for support?
24.Do your family members problem solve together and come up with solutions?
25.Is open communication encouraged in your family?
26.Are family members able to poke well-meaning fun at one another?
27.Are you able to talk in a peaceful way about the different values and opinions that family members possess?
28.Can the family's organizational structure accommodate all of the family's changing needs?
29.Are you comfortable bringing problems to the attention of your family in an effort to solve them together?
30.Are honest statements to the family able to be communicated freely, without fear of resentment?