Partner Communication: Can We Talk?

“Didn’t you hear what I just said?” This is often the frustration expressed by a partner who feels as if the words he or she spoke might as well have been said to a wall! Not all communication has to be given our careful and focused attention, but we need to recognize that much of what our partners have to say to us should hold value and be given respect. There are times when partners need to know how to listen with their heart, as well as with their ears. Communication is an important part of all of our relationships, from business to personal, as a parent, a partner, or as a friend. Learning to communicate effectively can also prevent misunderstandings that can damage relationships. Find out if you are a good communicator or need to work on this aspect of your social skill set. Communication is more than hearing: Good communication is also listening and responding with our whole self.

Carefully read each question and choose the one answer per question that best applies to you.


1.My partner and I share our problems with each other.
2.My partner makes me feel important.
3.We try to understand each other when hurt or angry.
4.We look at each other when talking.
5.My partner and I like doing things together.
6.Arguments with my partner do NOT leave me feeling powerless.
7.I share my wants and needs with my partner.
8.When conflicts arise, we negotiate solutions.
9.We communicate with physical touch.
10.My partner and I think similarly about things.
11.We can interpret each other’s body language.
12.I feel satisfied with my relationship with my partner.
13.We take responsibility for our own feelings and behaviors.
14.My partner understands my needs.
15.My partner and I want the same things out of life.
16.My partner listens to me.
17.I usually get what I want.
18.My partner admits when he/she makes a mistake.
19.When sharing thoughts or feelings we say, “I think” or “I feel."
20.My partner and I share similar interests.
21.Conversations with my partner are interesting and stimulating.
22.My relationship with my partner is well-balanced.
23.My partner is easy to get along with.
24.My partner accepts me as I am.
25.My partner allows me the “space” I need.